When u're in love,its blind right?
although,she shows many signs of leaving me or love me,i just pretend to not to know.Because who am i to love such beauty?I'm not that clever and i'm just not up to her standard.I thought countless times that she will leave me one day and i'll be ready.She doesn't even wanted to leave me and said ''i'll stay by u forever''.
But one day,she just left me.Just after her birthday.she said ''goodbye,forget all about me''.
I trained myself hard to face this fact but it seems hard.its like the world has gone black.Even for me,i cried the whole night.its pretty stupid though but i can't help it.Because my angel of life has gone in just those messages...
after that i given her a letter ;
Masih ko ingat psl gambar ni.......teha.....ni my last words to u because i want to erase u from my mind for this 4 months....Kalo ko ada masa,bacalah the things that i worte to you below ataupun delete je benda ni....sorry kerana saya beri benda ni kt dino untuk diberikan kepada kau.....
There are some things that i want to tell u before i try to forget about u...
1.Sebenarnya,kau adalah my first love.....i didn’t get a chance to bagi hadiah hari jadi dan berjumpa dengan kau tetapi saya tidak pernah cuba nak menipu awak dan saya mencuba untuk menjadi yang seorang lelaki yang baik....dan skrg,mungkin sy akn memberi hadiah ko pd tahun hadapan.....aku x dpt bagi hadiah ko hari tu kerana bermain futsal,dino ckp mungkin Ain akn tunggu kiteorg tetapi bila sampai dia dh x de....i regret it because i’m not menepati masa.....
2.Tetapi aku akan memberitahu kau tentang diriku yang sebenarnya,sebelum berjumpa dengan kau.....Saya adalah seseorang kurang ajar,suka mencarut setiap hari,kerja rumah pun kadang-kadang buat dan boleh dikatakan bahawa saya ni seorang yang jahat.....tetapi selepas mengenali diri ko,I turned into a new leaf dan aku berubah 360 degrees......aku dh x mencarut lagi kecuali bila dh hilang sabar,membuat semua kerja rumah berkeyakinan becakap dengan perempuan dan for once in my life,saya mempunyai matlamat hidup iaitu supaya menjadi lebih bijak daripada kau dan berusaha untuk mengembirakan teha setiap hari....
3.Aku sedar bahawa mungkin kau marah dan membenci aku kerana telah menyebabkan Ain menangis....aku sedar bahawa itu adalah kesalahan saya sepenuhnya....Tetapi,saya Cuma ingin bergurau senda dengan-nya dan maybe u already knew about this but.....
Pernah tak awak berfikir yang perkara yang Ain lalui akan saya lalui???....Ain menangis pada satu atau 2 malam sahaja tetapi aku??.....Setiap malam,aku berfikir kenapa kau left me without any reasons...setiap malam,aku mengenangkan psl kau....setiap malam selama 4 bulan kau meninggalkan aku,aku menangis pada setiap malam kerana dirimu telah memberikan impak yang mendalam dalam hidupku......Saya juga telah memahami perasan Ain pd hari tu..... I felt so helpless every day I can’t eat well and each night I felt sleepless crying over u.....sorry because I may look like a sissy to u,but this my true nature to girls....
4.I am confused wheter or not u really love me or just playing a fool to me....but,i am seriously in love you....I am sorry but i love you eventhough now,u dont love me.....
5.I also want to appologise because saya telah membazirkan duit dan masa kau untuk ber-sms dan chat bersama saya.......saya juga ingin meminta maaf kerana saya mungkin telah melukai hati ko....
6.Sorry also for lying to u...
7.Saya ingin mengetahui samaada awak sedang memikirkan bahawa saya ni adalah seorang pondan,lemah,mengada-ngada ataupun otherwise....I want to know your answer after 4 months if u still remember me...but remember,Aku sukakan kau adalah perkataan pertama yang saya dengar drpd awk,kot.....
8.Saya tahu bahawa awk benci sy kerana sikap sy yg suka bermain2 dan tidak mengambil perkara seriously.....walaupun sy menulis perkara-perkara yang mengarut kt awk,sy tetap serius tentang i love u.....Aku juga mengetahui kau membenci sy kerana melukai perasaan Ain akibat sikap bermain2 saya.....skrg,sy sedar tentang perkara tersebut.....Saya berjanji yg sy akn mengubah perangai sy kerana psl sikap sy ni lh yg menyebabkan ko membenci aku.....
8.Kalau awk x keberatan,boleh tak kita berjumpa pada 14.10.09 ataupun 17-10.09...tempat dan masa akan ditentukan oleh ko....kalo boleh,call atau sms sy pd hari tersebut,ok???....please,i want 2 see your face live.....
Last ni ada satu poem yang saya dpt drpd komik.....
Things dont always go as well as you might like...
There are times when things might not even work out at all......
But when the first time you feel those presious emotions....
I’m sure that’s something that you have to reasure...
And every single one of those feelings...
Leads us that bit further onwards,towards the future....
Are you....
In love right now?
I never regret knowing you, knowing that you are happy, I would be happy too. There were moments in our life we gave up just because of love. But we choose to love over and over again even though how many times we’ve felt pain. Because knowing that we have live and had loved was the most wonderful thing that God had given unto us and I’m grateful, if I hadn’t known u,Teha I may never know what it feels to risk everything for love. For now I know, love is the sweetest pain, love is the sweetest feeling that we can’t resist. Just keep on believing that fate, destiny and love are in your hands. Every day I would just stare at the window pane thinking of him, wondering if you misses me too... There I would cry alone all by myself all those sad thoughts kept running gently in my heart the feeling that were close yet we were so far away and each night all those magical moments we had kept ringing in my head all night, the feeling of warmth and happiness was now long gone and the pain that I can’t bear take over me.
And saya sukar untuk menulisnya dan membenci perkataan ni tetapi selamat tinggal,Nurul Fatihah Hazry Binti Eddy Hazry...bye2,teha...see u in 4 more months......
4 months for PMR....
continuesss.
